I was forced to do many housework at home. If I didn't do them, I would be beaten. I hated to be a girl because father said girls must do housework. When I did not sit properly he would beat me too, even though I learnt it from him. He said that girls have to sit properly.
I was always punished as the eldest child. I always hated that I had to be so 'old'. When I went into primary 4, I was extremely upset. I couldn't accept that I had reached 10 years of age, which I thought was 'very old'. I took a very long time before I realised that time wouldn't go back and it wasn't wrong to be 10. No word can express my feelings completely.
Also, I was not even allowed to wear shorts out of the house. I had to wear long pants or skirt when going out. When I was in primary 5, we had to go to school for housecleaning one day and we were required to wear T-shirt and shorts. He wouldn't let me follow the rules and beat me into wearing a long pants. I had no choice. He said that everybody would be wearing long pants and I would be the only one wearing shorts if I wore shorts. So I went to school, confused. Then I that saw everyone else was wearing shorts and felt cheated. I got laughed at by my classmates but I couldn't do anything. I did't understand...
I never had the chance to go to friend's house until 12. He didn't let me. When I wanted to go for school trip for graduating students, he was reluctant to let me go. But he had no choice at first so he gave in. During a particular meal time he beat me in public because I ate too slow. He said that with this speed I would lose to other students during the trip. I wanted to go so much that I told myself I would endure everything it takes to get the money to go. However, I was chosen by my school to go for an entry test to a Singapore secondary school during the same period of time. I didn't want to ask him but my teacher insisted. Then I knew I would regret for not going for graduating trip forever. I was naive to believe him that he would give the refunded money to me entirely and I was a little consoled. In the end he wanted the money back and I had to give him back. After a few years that I realised I was cheated. He even cheated his own daughter for three hundred ringgit.
