I am alone again. Whenever I am alone, I don't feel good. Don't know how to describe and don't know the reason. Maybe I am sad. Maybe scared. Or maybe tired. Maybe I need someone to rely on. I have been alone for so long. I need to get away and breath. So do Didi and Baby. We have been trying all our lives to live our own life. Trying. Always trying. And hoping. We hoped that we could end this, convinced ourselves that we could ultimately get Mama out, and even cheated ourselves that we could be normal. But NO. God wouldn't allow us to. I don't know whether it was father or God's fault. Whatever it was, we couldn't save Mama and our dream to normal life. When can I start breathing? I don't know how much longer I can hold. And how much longer my poor brothers can hold. I can only keep telling them that we will be better. I don't even know if it will be true. But I can only say hold on...hold on... This is the only hope we have got...
