Mama was always busy. Work, tuition, housework.
Father was always relax. Newspaper, TV, sleep.
We did not have childhood. No toys, no tidbits, no laughters.
They always quarreled. Or rather, father always scolded Mama. Sometimes Mama had to kneel down in front of him to be scold or beaten, for forgiveness. He even scolded Wai Po and Xiao Yi. He kept telling us that Wai Po was bad and that she always added something into our food to harm us, Gong Tao. He also told us that Mama was not a good mother, using a very fatherly tone. Basically, he embedded in us his idea that no one in the world can be trusted except for him. I did not think he will harm us since he is father. So, somehow, I believed what he said and was wary of everyone.
I witnessed Mama beaten by him using cane. Not only once. When he got angry, he would beat Mama anywhere, anytime, anyhow. I still never knew the reasons he got angry. I thought Mama was beaten because she did something wrong. I thought it was normal for a husband to beat his wife when she was wrong. I thought Mama should get punishment if she really did wrong. I was young and pure. From the little knowlegde I had of the world, I did not think much.
There was one incident I remember vividly. He was beating Mama in her bedroom. Mama was crying. "Please don't beat me. I won't do it again". The cane flew all over her weak body. I forgot how my youngest brother, Baby, got into that corner of the room. He was beside Mama, patting her back, perhaps telling father not to beat her. The other two of us were by the door, not daring to get into the room. The other brother with me, Didi, kept asking my youngest brother to come out of the room, and I didn't know what to do but to follow his call for Baby. However, Baby did not come out.
After some time, he stopped beating and scolding Mama. I forgot where Didi and I went but Baby was loyally accompanying and consoling Mama. So cute. He was as tall as Mama sitting on the floor. When Mama was better, she made us each a cup of Milo, and said that this was the last cup she was going to make for us. She was leaving the house and leaving us. In fact, she did this a few times, in my memory, wanting to get away from him. However, sometimes she didn't leave, sometimes she left and came back.
There was once I woke up in the morning and couldn't find Mama. Her car was still around and I asked father where she was because she didn't normally leave the house without the car. He told me Mama went somewhere she quite often went. I was a little suspicous but didn't care much. After quite long Mama came back and everything seemed well again.
It was only when I grew up I realised that Mama was trying to leave him. Due to the love for us, she was never successful, coming back everytime, stupidly.
Father was always relax. Newspaper, TV, sleep.
We did not have childhood. No toys, no tidbits, no laughters.
They always quarreled. Or rather, father always scolded Mama. Sometimes Mama had to kneel down in front of him to be scold or beaten, for forgiveness. He even scolded Wai Po and Xiao Yi. He kept telling us that Wai Po was bad and that she always added something into our food to harm us, Gong Tao. He also told us that Mama was not a good mother, using a very fatherly tone. Basically, he embedded in us his idea that no one in the world can be trusted except for him. I did not think he will harm us since he is father. So, somehow, I believed what he said and was wary of everyone.
I witnessed Mama beaten by him using cane. Not only once. When he got angry, he would beat Mama anywhere, anytime, anyhow. I still never knew the reasons he got angry. I thought Mama was beaten because she did something wrong. I thought it was normal for a husband to beat his wife when she was wrong. I thought Mama should get punishment if she really did wrong. I was young and pure. From the little knowlegde I had of the world, I did not think much.
There was one incident I remember vividly. He was beating Mama in her bedroom. Mama was crying. "Please don't beat me. I won't do it again". The cane flew all over her weak body. I forgot how my youngest brother, Baby, got into that corner of the room. He was beside Mama, patting her back, perhaps telling father not to beat her. The other two of us were by the door, not daring to get into the room. The other brother with me, Didi, kept asking my youngest brother to come out of the room, and I didn't know what to do but to follow his call for Baby. However, Baby did not come out.
After some time, he stopped beating and scolding Mama. I forgot where Didi and I went but Baby was loyally accompanying and consoling Mama. So cute. He was as tall as Mama sitting on the floor. When Mama was better, she made us each a cup of Milo, and said that this was the last cup she was going to make for us. She was leaving the house and leaving us. In fact, she did this a few times, in my memory, wanting to get away from him. However, sometimes she didn't leave, sometimes she left and came back.
There was once I woke up in the morning and couldn't find Mama. Her car was still around and I asked father where she was because she didn't normally leave the house without the car. He told me Mama went somewhere she quite often went. I was a little suspicous but didn't care much. After quite long Mama came back and everything seemed well again.
It was only when I grew up I realised that Mama was trying to leave him. Due to the love for us, she was never successful, coming back everytime, stupidly.
